Fall, Fun and Families

The last few months have been nothing but vacations and family excursions (although if you ask Mat he may mention the 15 grad credits he took… minor detail…) But it’s been an adventure.

In October, my mother, sister, and niece Emma came down to see General Conference and we had so much fun having an 8-year-old around. We introduced Emma to Travis and Kelly’s chickens, ate more candy and ice cream than I care to admit to, and had late night sleepovers.

Watching Emma at conference was by far the best part. I was humbled to realize that not everyone gets the experience to ever see a prophet of God, let alone be in the same room as him and hear him speak. Mat held Emma up as the Prophet walked in and it was amazing to see this newly baptized little member of the church light up and feel and see that the Prophet is a real person.

September, October and November brought 7 Medical School interviews for Mat, sufficiently putting a dent in our bank account and our weekends. But it seems that it paid off, as he has been accepted to four of the seven schools and we are still waiting to hear from the other 3. As of now, our top choice is most likely TCOM in Dallas/Fort Worth, Texas, but we’ll see what the next few months bring.

At Halloween, we spent lots of time with friends, carving pumpkins and doing cornmazes. We even won an award for the scariest pumpkin at our ward party. (I wish I had a picture of it… but alas, it died before I got around to it.)

In November we went down to Vegas for an interview, and to meet our new niece, Teagan Elizabeth Richards. Isn’t she cute?

I also flew to Spokane to spend a weekend with my sisters and mother to shop for Christmas. It was the first time my mom had been with her 3 daughters alone for years—we had a blast. Needless to say, there was much rejoicing in the form of Mexican food, Krispee Kreams and Blizzards.

Things Discovered

A lot has happened over the last year and a half of our lives, and since it would be impossible to try and blog about everything, I have decided to share all of the many things that Mat and I have learned since we tied the knot.

Discovery #1: Amanda can often fit in the weirdest places...
Discovery #2: Stairs can double as a crib. (I'm not sure what the wet spot is on the carpet...I prefer not to think about it...)
Discovery #3: Amanda can fall asleep anywhere......and so can Mat.Discovery #4: Did anyone know that you can make farting noises by blowing a straw into your armpit?Discovery #5: "Never get involved in a land war in Asia" - but only slightly less well-known is this: "Never go against 3 padawans when death is on the line"! Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha! Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha! Ha ha ha.
Discovery #6: If the car ever breaks down, we have a backup plan...it might be a little cold in the winter, but would probably be as fast as the bus!
Discovery #7: Waste not, want not. Just because all the mints are gone, doesn't mean you cant freshen your breathe using the container...Discovery #8: MnM's truly are a staple in our household. (And what's with all the creepy faces Mat has been wearing?)
Discovery #9: We still haven't convinced anyone to like tofu.
Discovery #10: I still can't convince Mat to buy new socks...
Discovery #11: Mat thoroughly enjoyed his first thanksgiving with a real turkey...
Discovery #12: Amanda still fits in a shopping cart...
Whereas Mat...cannot. (I think he may have pulled a hammy getting out...)Discovery #13: Never leave chunks of Reese's Peanut Butter Cups on a plate for later.
Discovery #14: Mat is the real "Tool-Man" Taylor.
Discovery #15: Menus are not edible.Discovery #16: Elephants are not for riding...unless it happens to be a technicolored one...in which case, ride away!Discovery #17: When we all get to the other side, Brother-in-Law David may very well give Joseph Smith a run for his money in Indian Leg Wrestling.Discovery #18: Do not drink from watering cans...Discovery #19: How true that is...

Discovery #20: Cereal is our favorite food. You'd smile that big too if you had that much cereal. (I wish I could tell you that this is the most we've ever had...but its not even close.)
Discovery #21: If no candles are available, a red and brown tootsie pop will do the trick.
Discovery #22: Even real men enjoy the luxuries of life.Discovery #23: Mat has finally learned what to look forward to in aging.
Discovery #24: Mom may have some sort of pirate fantasy...Discovery #25: Contrary to what Brigham Young may have said, "This is the right place."Discovery #26: We will never be royalty in England.Discovery #27: Mat is asking for these for Christmas.Discovery #28: Even Donald Duck thinks Mat has big feet.Discovery #29: In a battle of burritos, Meg can outdo Uncle Shawn any day on fitting more in a burrito.Discovery #30: Animal Crackers dipped in cookie dough = goodness.
Discovery #31: No one ever wants to stand after running 13.1 miles.Discovery #32: If you ask your husband to do the laundry, you may be surprised at his methods.Overall, its been a great year and a half! We've learned a lot, but what we've learned the most is how perfect we are for each other! Here's to the next 50 years! (I promise I'll blog again before we hit 50 years though...)

Classic

No need to ever fry a pound of bacon again with one of these babies.

Words of Wisdom

So, I can't take full credit for this, as I stole it from my cousins blog. But I wanted a wider range of people to laugh as hard as I did upon reading it. So have a laugh.

• I wish Google Maps had an "Avoid Ghetto" routing option.
• More often than not, when someone is telling me a story all I can think about is that I can’t wait for them to finish so that I can tell my own story that’s not only better, but also more directly involves me.
• Nothing sucks more than that moment during an argument when you realize you're wrong.
• Have you ever been walking down the street and realized that you're going in the complete opposite direction of where you are supposed to be going? But instead of just turning a 180 and walking back in the direction from which you came, you have to first do something like check your watch or phone or make a grand arm gesture and mutter to yourself to ensure that no one in the surrounding area thinks you're crazy by randomly switching directions on the sidewalk.
• I totally take back all those times I didn't want to nap when I was younger.
• The letters T and G are very close to each other on a keyboard. This recently became all too apparent to me and consequently I will never be ending a work email with the phrase "Regards" again..
• Do you remember when you were a kid, playing Nintendo and it wouldn't work? You take the cartridge out, blow in it and that would magically fix the problem. Every kid in America did that, but how did we all know how to fix the problem? There was no internet or message boards or FAQ's. We just figured it out. Today's kids are soft.
• There is a great need for sarcasm font.
• Sometimes, I'll watch a movie that I watched when I was younger and suddenly realize I had no idea what the heck was going on when I first saw it.
• I think everyone has a movie that they love so much, it actually becomes stressful to watch it with other people. I'll end up wasting 90 minutes shiftily glancing around to confirm that everyone's laughing at the right parts, then making sure I laugh just a little bit harder (and a millisecond earlier) to prove that I'm still the only one who really, really gets it.
• How the hell are you supposed to fold a fitted sheet?
• I would rather try to carry 10 plastic grocery bags in each hand than take 2 trips to bring my groceries in.
• I think part of a best friend's job should be to immediately clear your computer history if you die.
• The only time I look forward to a red light is when I’m trying to finish a text.
• Was learning cursive really necessary?
• Lol has gone from meaning, "laugh out loud" to "I have nothing else to say".
• I have a hard time deciphering the fine line between boredom and hunger.
• Answering the same letter three times or more in a row on a Scantron test is absolutely petrifying.
• My brother's Municipal League baseball team is named the Stepdads. Seeing as none of the guys on the team are actual stepdads, I inquired about the name. He explained, "Cuz we beat you, and you hate us." Classy, bro.
• How many times is it appropriate to say "What?" before you just nod and smile because you still didn't hear what they said?
• I love the sense of camaraderie when an entire line of cars teams up to prevent a jerk from cutting in at the front. Stay strong, brothers!
• While driving yesterday I saw a banana peel in the road and instinctively swerved to avoid it....thanks Mario Kart.
• MapQuest really needs to start their directions on #5. Pretty sure I know how to get out of my neighborhood.
• Obituaries would be a lot more interesting if they told you how the person died.
• I find it hard to believe there are actually people who get in the shower first and THEN turn on the water.
• Shirts get dirty. Underwear gets dirty. Pants? Pants never get dirty, and you can wear them forever.
• Bad decisions make good stories.
• Whenever I'm Facebook stalking someone and I find out that their profile is public I feel like a kid on Christmas morning who just got the Red Ryder BB gun that I always wanted. 546 pictures? Don't mind if I do!
• If Carmen San Diego and Waldo ever got together, their offspring would probably just be completely invisible.
• Why is it that during an ice-breaker, when the whole room has to go around and say their name and where they are from, I get so incredibly nervous? Like I know my name, I know where I'm from; this shouldn't be a problem....
• You never know when it will strike, but there comes a moment at work when you've made up your mind that you just aren’t doing anything productive for the rest of the day.
• There's no worse feeling than that millisecond you're sure you are going to die after leaning your chair back a little too far.
• I'm always slightly terrified when I exit out of Word and it asks me if I want to save any changes to my ten page research paper that I swear I did not make any changes to.
• Do not machine wash or tumble dry" means I will never wash this ever.
• I hate being the one with the remote in a room full of people watching TV. There's so much pressure. 'I love this show, but will they judge me if I keep it on? I bet everyone is wishing we weren’t watching this. It's only a matter of time before they all get up and leave the room. Will we still be friends after this?'
• While watching the Olympics, I find myself cheering equally for China and USA . No, I am not of Chinese descent, but I am fairly certain that when Chinese athletes don’t win, they are executed.
• I hate when I just miss a call by the last ring (Hello? Hello? Darnit!), but when I immediately call back, it rings nine times and goes to voicemail. What'd you do after I didn't answer? Drop the phone and run away?
• I hate leaving my house confident and looking good and then not seeing anyone of importance the entire day. What a waste.
• When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
• Why is a school zone 20 mph? That seems like the optimal cruising speed for pedophiles...
• As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
• It should probably be called Unplanned Parenthood.
• I think that if, years down the road when I’m trying to have a kid, I find out that I’m sterile, most of my disappointment will stem from the fact that I was not aware of my condition in college.
• Even under ideal conditions people have trouble locating their car keys in a pocket, finding their cell phone, and Pinning the Tail on the Donkey - but I’d bet my a$$ everyone can find and push the Snooze button from 3 feet away, in about 1.7 seconds, eyes closed, first time every time...
• My 4-year old son asked me in the car the other day "Dad what would happen if you ran over a ninja?" How the h do I respond to that?
• I think the freezer deserves a light as well.
• I wonder if cops ever get ticked off at the fact that everyone they drive behind obeys the speed limit.
• The other night I ordered takeout, and when I looked in the bag, saw they had included four sets of plastic silverware. In other words, someone at the restaurant packed my order, took a second to think about it, and then estimate d that there must be at least four people eating to require such a large amount of food. Too bad I was eating by myself. There’s nothing like being made to feel like a fatty before dinner.

Wedding Extravaganza

What a summer it has been! Regretfully, this is the first post I’ve made all summer, but I blame it on the hard drive crash we had removing all wedding pictures from my life. Yes, that’s right. We lost the drive with all our professional wedding pictures on it. That is the delay of my blogging…

Did I make your heart stop yet? Truthfully, the drive did crash, and took 2 months to recover. But it is fully recovered. So now I can blog. Sorry for the delay… and for making you feel sorry for me.

Mat and I have been married for 3 months today, and it’s been a great 3 months. All our friends are right. Married life is SOOO much better than the single scene. It’s so nice to have your best friend with you all the time.

The ceremony itself was amazing. We had both of our immediate families there and the sealer was inspired and perfect for us. He said some things that will help us throughout our lives and throughout our marriage. And, not to be sappy but, I’ll never forget kneeling across the altar from Mat. It was the best moment of my life. And on top of that, it was the first time that all 5 kids in my family and their siblings were in the temple together. It was a cool experience. Love you fam! I look forward to Kaysie’s marriage so the Taylor family can experience that.

Take a look at all the pictures to the side. Don’t we look like a happy couple? We had a lot of fun things happen that day. While we were waiting to take the ever-so-common-and-impossible-to-see-anyone-picture-in-the-stairway of the Salt Lake Temple entryway, I looked at the group before us and spotted one of my old mission buddies, Emily Carlson Hartvigsen! She was there for her cousin’s wedding. It was the craziest coincidence.

At the luncheon all of our siblings and parents had the chance to stand up and say something nice about us and it was fun to hear stories of the things that our siblings remember and love. Mat learned that our 4-year-old girls will have the capacity to order pizza and I learned that Mat will be carrying me to bed every night… just because he can.

It rained on our parade mid-day, but my family were troopers and rolled with the punches… and the thunder. Thanks for being so flexible and doing pictures later fam!

The reception was great, my feet hurt like the dickens, and we actually got a little of the food. (Mat and I had heard horror stories of how the bride and groom never got any of the food and we just wouldn’t stand for that so we asked friends to bring us food. Nope, food doesn’t drive our lives at all, not at all… Mmm...carrot cake…salad…)

We spent the next week on our honeymoon on a Mexican Cruise, which was a blast. Again, eating and no responsibility… more eating.. Nope food doesn’t run our lives at all…

We got home on Thursday, drove to Moscow on Friday and had another reception on Saturday, which was wonderful. Mom had the backyard decked out (bless her) and we felt so blessed by all the people that came to congratulate us.

Well, that’s about it for the wedding. It’s been an amazing 3 months. Mat and I have found out new things that make us perfect for each other and realized every day how perfect we really are for each other. Toon in for more blogs on the last three months.

Just for laughs...

My boss sent me this email at work and I thought it was hilarious. Thought I'd share the wealth. (slightly edited to make it PG. :) )

Here is the Washington Post's Mensa invitational -which once again asked readers to take any word from the dictionary, alter it by adding, subtracting, or changing one letter, and supply a new definition. Here are the winners:

1. Cashtration (n.): The act of buying a house, which renders the subject financially impotent for an indefinite period of time.

2. Intaxication (n.): Euphoria at getting a tax refund, which lasts until you realize it was your money to start with.

3. Reintarnation (n.): Coming back to life as a hillbilly.

4. Bozone (n.): The substance surrounding stupid people that stops bright ideas from penetrating. The bozone layer, unfortunately, shows little sign of breaking down in the near future.

5. Giraffiti (n.): Vandalism spray-painted very, very high.

6. Sarchasm (n.): The gulf between the author of sarcastic wit and the Person who doesn't get it.

7. Inoculatte (v.): To take coffee intravenously when you are running late.

8. Osteopornosis (n.): A degenerate disease. (This one got extra credit.)

9. Karmageddon (n.): It's like, when everybody is sending off all these really bad vibes, right? And then, like, the Earth explodes and it's like, a serious bummer.

10. Decafalon (n.): The gruelling event of getting through the day consuming only things that are good for you.

11. Glibido (n.): All talk and no action.

12. Dopeler effect (n.): The tendency of stupid ideas to seem smarter when they come at you rapidly.

13. Arachnoleptic fit (n.): The frantic dance performed just after you've accidentally walked through a spider web.

14. Beelzebug (n.): Satan in the form of a mosquito, that gets into your bedroom at three in the morning and cannot be cast out.

15. Caterpallor (n.): The color you turn after finding half a worm in the fruit you're eating.

The Washington Post has also published the winning submissions to its yearly contest, in which readers are asked to supply alternate meanings for common words. And the winners are:

1. Coffee, n. The person upon whom one coughs.

2. Flabbergasted, adj. Appalled by discovering how much weight one has gained.

3. Abdicate, v. To give up all hope of ever having a flat stomach.

4. Esplanade, v. To attempt an explanation while drunk.

5. Willy-nilly, adj. Impotent.

6. Negligent, adj. Absentmindedly answering the door when wearing only a nightgown.

7. Lymph, v. To walk with a lisp.

8. Gargoyle, n. Olive-flavored mouthwash.

9. Flatulence, n. Emergency vehicle that picks up someone who has been run over by a steamroller.

10. Balderdash, n. A rapidly receding hairline.

11. Rectitude, n. The formal, dignified bearing adopted by proctologists.

12. Oyster, n. A person who sprinkles his conversation with yiddishisms.

13. Frisbeetarianism, n. The belief that, after death, the soul flies up onto the roof and gets stuck there.

14. Circumvent, n. An opening in the front of boxer shorts worn by Jewish men.